The Dugout
By B - 7-21-07
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**Online Host**
Welcome to The A Restaurant in 1948 New York Chatroom!

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: /approaches table of Yankees

Hey fellas, what's swell?

Snuffy Stirnweiss

SnuffyLupagus: Joe! Joe! Di-maggi-o!

Sherm Lollar

Lollarskates: We want you on our side! /stands up, pulls out chair

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: What's good to know?

Vic Raschi

BaronVonRaschi: Not much, Joe, just talking to each other in antiquated lingo, eating links and cracker jack or whatever the hell baseball players ate in the forties.

Sherm Lollar

Lollarskates: Say, what's with the notebook, Joey?

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: oh, uh, what notebook

/shuffles mead fivestar notebook off of table

Snuffy Stirnweiss

SnuffyLupagus: s'at a diary? Hey fellas, get this, the Yankee Clipper keeps a dear diary! I mean!

Vic Raschi

BaronVonRaschi: Hey, I bet that's a great way to recall your glory and reveal your stress!

can I read it?

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: if you read you'll judge

Vic Raschi

BaronVonRaschi: Aw nuts, you might as well be carryin' an illustrated book about birds!

Snuffy Stirnweiss SnuffyLupagus: what're you writin' bout in yer diary Joey, you writin' about last night's party and which girls ya kissed? I mean!
Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: no

I'll read you an excerpt

"Traveling getting to be damn much. Plane food should be fed to pigs."

Sherm Lollar

Lollarskates: That's the tooth! Plane food is terrible, I like mine with a little catsup and mustard!

Vic Raschi

BaronVonRaschi: Ahhh you rube, he's talking about food on an airplane!

Sherm Lollar

Lollarskates: holy smokes, you get food on an airplane

Snuffy Stirnweiss

SnuffyLupagus: holy smokes, you get to ride in an airplane

Vic Raschi

BaronVonRaschi: wait a minute joe, what the fuck is an airplane

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: those bicycles with big cardboard wings attached to the top

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: Anyway fellas, I'm not writing these journals so every Tom, Dick, and Harry can read them. That's why it's all barely-interesting sentence fragments.

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: I got a lot on my mind and it's been a hell of a struggle, and to be honest, the worst thing I could ever imagine is somebody taking advantage of that when I'm not around.

Sherm Lollar

Lollarskates: Fiddlesticks, Joe! What's the worst you can have in there?

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: I don't know, guy, hopes and dreams? Stuff of that nature?

Snuffy Stirnweiss

SnuffyLupagus: h'yuh! Wishin' he had a copy a mystry date! I bet! I mean!

Vic Raschi

BaronVonRaschi: What kinda stuff are you hopin' and wishin', if you don't mind me asking?

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: I'd like to have a real great baseball record, you know, the type that doesn't get broken until future spacemen reveal the harrowing last days of baseball.

I'd like for him to be overweight and Asian, and look like the Grandmother from the show All-American Girl

Sherm Lollar

Lollarskates: well that's pretty specific

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: I'd like to be a spokesman for Heinz 57. I'd like to be around to help out in case a young man is seduced by an older lady.

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: But most of all I'd like to, maybe one day, marry a movie star.

Snuffy Stirnweiss

SnuffyLupagus: ha! I c'n see that!

*reads from diary* "My dream of dreams is to be MRS Desi Arnaz Jr!"

Joe Dimaggio

Joltin_Joe: HEY, YOU GIVE THAT BACK THIS INSTANT SNUFFY STIRNWEISS!

waitress

Waitress: /approaches table

what'll it be, boys
Sherm Lollar Lollarskates: hot dog
Vic Raschi BaronVonRaschi: hamburger platter
Joe Dimaggio Joltin_Joe: massive pile of pills