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maddux.xmission.com: Konichiwa, Dice-K! |
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DiceK: "Howdy," American Elder! |
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maddux.xmission.com: So! /chugs entire bottle of water You're a rookie, huh? |
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maddux.xmission.com: oh hey, I've been meaning to ask you, do you guys have the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in Japan? |
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DiceK: /squints, pretends to think Yes, but we call him the "Flesh Prince" |
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maddux.xmission.com: haha, that's awesome, that makes him sound like the Devil. Have you ever seen the one where Carlton has to take the PSATs, and starts flipping out about it? |
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DiceK: /nods Yes. *sternly* Carlton bring great dishonor to his family. |
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maddux.xmission.com: huh. /turns on faucets, listens to running water So, how're you liking PETCO Park? |
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DiceK: /nods Yes, your park is very nice! |
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maddux.xmission.com: Yeah, the first time Jim Thome was supposed to play here he didn't show up for the game. The next day they found him at home with 30 new puppies. |
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maddux.xmission.com: that thing about Asian people eating dogs, is that true or what |
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DiceK: oh, no no no. In Japan, we would never eat dog. |
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maddux.xmission.com: Okay, I figured it was just an unfair nationalist stereotype. |
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DiceK: one time manny eat dog |
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DiceK: upon the occasion of a slumber party with the mohawk infant American child, manny became dishonored by local prices for hot dog |
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DiceK: "i rily wan a ho dog" he say to child, "wan ho dog ril bad." Unfortunately, Manny only having had three dollars American, not enough for the Fenway Flank |
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DiceK: pig-faced infant say, "i len you a moneys many" and give Manny two American quarters, saying "mom gav me corters to play videa game oh well guess i can play revolution x som other time" |
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DiceK: instantly, Manny became overjoyed, and he purchase the Fenway Flank, saying "plain plz no mustid or catsup," and the two high-fived deep into the night. |
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DiceK: All was not as seemed, however, because when Manny open his hot dog, he find that it NOT plain! The weenie was submerged in pickled substance! |
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DiceK: "rerish, nooooo" he shouted and put the flank on the ground and kicked it into bushes. "i so hungrryyy" Manny say. "but no moneys" |
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DiceK: "lol sorry all out" spoke the Bubble Boy, "no mor monkey jupmin on the bed" |
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DiceK: So Manny lay down on the street with his mouth wide open, wide wide open, saying, "i no move till somebody give manny a foods" |
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DiceK: Manny lay there in the street for three days and three nights, waiting for food. During slumber, a citizen walking chow chow wanders by to inspect. |
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DiceK: chow chow becomes curious, and sniffs Manny's mouth for remnant of potatoed chip and dips. Chow chow just get right in there. |
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DiceK: Suddenly Manny regain consciousness and becomes frightened! He try to scream, but action causes Chow Chow head to become lodged in throat! |
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DiceK: Faced with own mortality and not gifted in any way that could help, Manny was forced to swallow the dog whole to save own life. |
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maddux.xmission.com: holy shit |
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DiceK: He say, nante mudana koto o to explain actions... suggesting that the situation not as strange as it seems, is only another happenstance in the troubled personal life of this man as he struggle to be himself |
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maddux.xmission.com: /eats entire pack of Gushers You got any questions for me? I'm a... heh; fountain of advice. |
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DiceK: How does one reach such advanced age without death? |
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maddux.xmission.com: good black don't crack |
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DiceK: /squints eyes, pretends to understand Aaaaah... /bows, nods head profusely Sore dewa. /turns to leave |
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maddux.xmission.com: Hey wait a minute! Before you head out for the game don't you think you should shower up first? /crosses legs |
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DiceK: /nods, smiles /continues to leave |
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maddux.xmission.com: I can tell you about the time when Jose Lima accidentally ate half of a dog, felt bad about it, and then tried to put it back together with Scotch tape! |
| **Online Host** DiceK has left the chatroom. |
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maddux.xmission.com: ah dammit. Hey Craig! Craig Stansberry! Come here for a minute! And bring your snorkel! |