The Dugout
By B - 6-2-07
Click pictures for player info.

Karl Ravech

Ravech_2099: The Post said the pair entered an elevator at the Four Seasons Hotel in Toronto -- near the Park Hyatt where most of the Royals stayed -- after dinner at a steak house Sunday night.

They later went to a strip club.

Karl Ravech

Ravech_2099: An inside headline called him a "ROYAL BUMMER."

Peter Gammons

Gammondorf: In Kansas City, there are so many more things that you talk about on a regular basis in addition to baseball.

When he took this job as the highest paid player in the history of baseball, he certainly knew it wasn't going to be about hitting and running and fielding grounders.

Karl Ravech

Ravech_2099: For those of you just tuning in, disappointing news from the baseball world, as the famed "mystical protectorate of baseball fortune" came crashing down to Earth today, mired in scandal and personal failure.

Peter Gammons

Gammondorf: One can only imagine that Pecota found that mystery blonde in the same place he got found protectorance.

Karl Ravech

Ravech_2099: Reporters caught up with Bill Pecota after today's game, and the 26 million dollar-a-year third baseman had this to say:

Bill Pecota

PecotaChrome: /looks down at floor
/adjusts headband

you know

you know times like this

you gotta stay focused, focus on your team and execute well, and just play the game, you know

we had a excellent game today and our team executed well and we were victorious

Bill Pecota

PecotaChrome: /stares blankly off-screen as reporters snap photos

you just have to keep your mind on the game

Karl Ravech

Ravech_2099: Peter Gammons, your thoughts?

Peter Gammons

Gammondorf: I think Bill Pecota is a victim here. I think the press in Kansas City is so concerned with making or breaking you that sometimes an event like this, an event that should cause problems between a man and a woman, is made to cause problems with a man and baseball, and that's just not the case.

Peter Gammons

Gammondorf: I certainly feel for Mrs. Pecota and their family, but if Bill keeps posting .330/40/120 seasons I see no reason to let this affect his role on the team.

Karl Ravech

Ravech_2099: Our Baseball Tonight online poll reveals that 70% of viewers polled believe "already knew he was a jackass," followed by "something about the media."

Peter Gammons

Gammondorf: I certainly agree, something about the media

Peter Gammons

Gammondorf: media

Peter Gammons

Gammondorf: meeeeediaaaaaa

**Online Host**
Meanwhile, atop Yankee Stadium in our world...

David Glass

whineglass: d o y o u s e e e e

t h e y w o u l d o n l y

c a s t b l a m e o n o t h e r s

p e c o t a a a a d o y o u s e e e

PECOTA

PECOTA: /hangs motionless from crucifix of skulls

David Glass

whineglass: t h e r e i s o n l y

o n e t e a m i n t h e w o r l d

 

o n e t e a m w i t h m a n y
f a c e s

David Glass

whineglass: /traces PECOTA's jaw with a jagged, rotten nail

i f i c o u l d t o u c h e v e r y s t o n e

i f i c o u l d b r e a t h e o n e v e r y
b r a n c h , t h e y ' d g e t u p
a n d f o l l o w m e

s o w h a t 's w r o n g w i t h y o u ?

PECOTA

PECOTA: /raises beaten head

if

PECOTA

PECOTA: if i am to die here

let it be known that i was respected by one man

PECOTA

PECOTA: only one man

a father

who could say he loved bill pecota without having to defend it

PECOTA

PECOTA: /spits blood into Glass' face

your precious idols will never have that

/lowers head

David Glass

whineglass: P E C O T A A A A

rrrR E E E E E E E EA AA A A A

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR

David Glass

whineglass: H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E

David Glass

whineglass: H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E H A T E E E E E

David Glass

whineglass: WRREEEEEEEEEE

/draws back death blow

**Online Host**
Suddenly! From out of left field!
Pecota's Bike

PECOTASBIKE: VRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

/zooms past whineglass and shatters the macabre sacriliege

PECOTA

PECOTA: /breaks free of bonds

IF I! WAS A WOODCUTTER, I'D CUT. IF I! WAS A FIRE, I'D BURN. BUT I! AM A HEART, AND I LOVE. THAT! IS THE ONLY THING I CAN DO!!

David Glass

whineglass: N O O O O O O O

/spreads wings
/flails forked tongue

PECOTA

PECOTA: /draws Sword of Charlemagne

I WILL END YOU! IN THIS WORLD! OR THE NEXT!

/charges

AAAAAAAAAAH

stray-rod homosexual_rod: AYCUSE ME
stray-rod

homosexual_rod: /waves hands wildly

AYCUUUUUSE ME

David Glass whineglass: /glances down
PECOTA PECOTA: HOLD ON A SECOND!
PECOTA PECOTA: WHAT!
stray-rod homosexual_rod: what are joo doingk
PECOTA

PECOTA: STRIKING! THE FINAL BLOW IN THE BATTLE BETWIXT GOOD! AND EVIL!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

stray-rod homosexual_rod: NOTHINGK
stray-rod homosexual_rod: CAN aRAH COME UP THERE AN HELP JOO WIT THE TWIX
David Glass

whineglass: l e t h i m f i g h t
p e c o t a a a a

h e i s p r e t t y g o o d i n t h e

r r r r e g u l a r s e a s o n

PECOTA

PECOTA: ALEX RODRIGUEZ! STAR BATSMAN! DO NOT! BECOME ENVELOPED BY EVIL!

STRIVE NOT! TO FACILITATE NICKNAMES BY DOING THINGS THAT RHYME WITH "AY!"

SUCH AS! GAY
SUCH AS! STRAY

PECOTA

PECOTA: PECOTA HAS SO MUCH! TO TELL YOU, SO MUCH! TO TEACH YOU

BUT YOU ARE LOST, ALEX RODRIGUEZ! YOU CAN NOT! BE MY DISCIPLE, YOU WOULD ONLY DENY ME!

stray-rod homosexual_rod: NUH UH
stray-rod homosexual_rod: /waves hands wildly

HEEEEEY

AYCUUUUUSE ME

David Glass whineglass: /violently devours Juan Miranda